-ke
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Due to some horrendous stuff that happened in my family recently, this story is on hold, but it will eventually be told.
(This Is Not Over)
-ke
-ke
Producing City of Angels Blog since Jan. 2007, first as coverage of the pedophile priest crisis in the Catholic Church as one of the survivors, then 30 other topics at CofA 1-30
Monday, December 15, 2014
I am at work but kinda stalled on book that is really a blog that started here Feb 2014 with this phone conversation where my sister said to me:
"So that explains it. Father Horne molested me 'til I was about ten.” My sister Patricia is six years older than me and it was 40 years after the abuse that we were on the phone confirming it really happened. “I got too old for him, so he dumped me for you,” she said, then her voice became a guttural whisper that penetrated my ear, “No wonder I've been so hostile to you your whole life. You took away my first lover."
I screamed into the phone. "No! No, don't say that!"
Story continued April 2014 here:
Where:
*****
"So that explains it. Father Horne molested me 'til I was about ten.” My sister Patricia is six years older than me and it was 40 years after the abuse that we were on the phone confirming it really happened. “I got too old for him, so he dumped me for you,” she said, then her voice became a guttural whisper that penetrated my ear, “No wonder I've been so hostile to you your whole life. You took away my first lover."
I screamed into the phone. "No! No, don't say that!"
Story continued April 2014 here:
Ch2: The Thud and a Nipple Dress
In a loud voice on the phone I said to my sister, “Finally we have an explanation. It's because Father Horne molested us when we were so young that we were both such out of control whores our whole lives!” And there was my daughter Lizzie age six in the doorway overhearing everything.
*****
While I was in the Jacuzzi last night, the two felonies that have defined my life since the 1990s suddenly FUSED and became one story, not two to be written separately. I realized, wow, how much more intriguing to add the murder and embezzlement on top of the pedophile priest crimes, as it is, after all, the story of a family, isn't it. . .
Posted yesterday on Facebook, click my name to connect
Producing City of Angels Blog since Jan. 2007, first as coverage of the pedophile priest crisis in the Catholic Church as one of the survivors, then 30 other topics at CofA 1-30
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Orwell and Me
I think he is over my shoulder right now
Orwell and Me 2
amazing parallels between his life and mine, which I find encouraging. He was despised bk he was so critical, he quit jobs outraged at injustices others put up with, he was awkward and unhealthy, and he ended up writing 1984. I could now be in phase of his life where he worked in a bookstore and being around books all the time made him despise books, as, well, I used to like television. . . Onward. I am currently living in my own Jura. Orwell wrote 1984 in Jura, Scotland I am in Lancaster, California writing for next 2 years with a sign on my door that says "Orwell's Scottish Cabin" Inspiration:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuVYvkdTYWc
Orwell and Me 2
Orwell and Me 3
Orwell was isolated bk of his illness, so am I. He had TB and was infectious so kept himself at home. I have PTSD and the pain has me crippled so I'm always at home. Orwell was passionate about politics and the time he was in Jura writing 1984 he "pulled on his entire life experience." One thing that got him writing fiction not journalism was the death of his wife. My Fiction writing was kicked off by the friction between me and Lizzie, for which I am grateful now. There's more. He had a tendency to put himself in the middle of things to experience them and write about them, which I too have done all my life. This is exciting. I'm not writing 1984, I'm not writing about the future, but I really dig the parallels, maybe I should turn my rants about the Saudis running Fox News into something. . . not sci fi, but Orwell also was not writing sci fi at all. . . hoping for a couple days off soon... loving this documentary about orwell's lifehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuVYvkdTYWc
Posted on Facebook
]amazing parallels between his life and mine, which I find encouraging. He was despised bk he was so critical, he quit jobs outraged at injustices others put up with, he was awkward and unhealthy, and he ended up writing 1984. I could now be in phase of his life where he worked in a bookstore and being around books all the time made him despise books, as, well, I used to like television. . . Onward. I am currently living in Orwell's Jura Jura, Scotland actually Lancaster, California writing for next 2 years with a sign on my door that says "Orwell's Scottish Cabin" Inspiration:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuVYvkdTYWc
Producing City of Angels Blog since Jan. 2007, first as coverage of the pedophile priest crisis in the Catholic Church as one of the survivors, then 30 other topics at CofA 1-30
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
After the second time I assaulted Cardinal Mahony on the street, a judge had me live in a shelter for wayward women instead of a prison sentence. At that East Hollywood kitchen table, I had the moment of recognition: I have a perfect excuse to kill somebody. Fiction coming soon at CofA Fiction http://cofafiction.blogspot.com/
Producing City of Angels Blog since Jan. 2007, first as coverage of the pedophile priest crisis in the Catholic Church as one of the survivors, then 30 other topics at CofA 1-30
Thursday, October 2, 2014
What happened in
1994 is so significant. It is to the date the time this pain came in that is
still crippling me today. It is the
reason I was diagnosed with PTSD in '95. I was age 45 and found out that indeed
that event I always remembered, a shadowy guy finger banging me age five in
the woods, really did happen. My life went in a totally new direction. In conversation with my sister I found out April
1994 that Father Horne diddled her too. When Patricia got to be about nine, she was
too old for his tastes, so he dropped her for me. The realization that I had lived my whole life with sexual compulsions that
destroyed everything, every job, every relationship, and the compulsions were not caused by me being an incorrigible whore but
probably by this thing a Catholic priest did to me when I was five years old, and now
my sister was confirming it really did happen-
What do I have to do now to make the pain stop?
Producing City of Angels Blog since Jan. 2007, first as coverage of the pedophile priest crisis in the Catholic Church as one of the survivors, then 30 other topics at CofA 1-30
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