Almost broke into tears watching The Boys of St. Vincent

2011

The scene with the boys in the shower in The Boys of St. Vincent reveals how “Other Than” a child feels when they are sexualized before puberty.  Years later when other kids his age start discovering sex in a normal way, the molested child feels like someone from another planet.  The degree to which you are different from other kids, or people in general, really hits you in the face right then, when you realize all the other kids haven't been having orgasms since bouncing on Father Tom’s knee when they were five years old. 

Then for the rest of your life, you realize how obtuse you are when you see how normal people have sex.   The boy in this movie first made that discovery in the shower at his nightmarish orphanage, where pedophile priests ran things. 

As the scene played out on the DVD, I felt what the boy felt, even before they cut to a closeup of his face where he portrayed it. 

I felt the terminal obliqueness.  

And for that instant remembered feeling it also as a child, a flood of incidents

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