Lizzie got involved in pedophile priest issue at age five too

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1988

I was thinking about writing a book when I was pregnant with Lizzie, but as always, never wrote it. 

On the cover would be me, pregnant at age 40, and the title, “He Told Me He’d Had A Vasectomy.” The art would be me, eight months along and bulbous, standing on a map of the United States, making plans to move somewhere, anywhere.  

It seemed like perfect ingredients for a comedy, the line itself, “He told me he’d had a vasectomy,” said by a haggard, bony bloated bulging pregnant woman….

Five years later my daughter was already this complicated person.

Poor Lizzie. 

Upon reaching age five, mother looked at her and started seeing herself when she was five, and then mom started remembering something strange that happened when she was five years old at the hands of a pervert Catholic priest back in 1953 that explained everything … 

And this whole journey began. 

*****

There’s a big move on right now to disprove recovered memory, saying people like me who experience it just make these things up.  In my case you can see my story is true by the way it's played out in my personality.  After recovering the memory of Father Horny diddling me between the legs, I turned into a completely different person.  

First there was the quieting of the bell jar, because up until 1995, everything in my life for forty years was reverberating from that thing I was keeping secret.  When the thing finally came out, when Lizzie turned five and I remembered what happened, everything in my life became different. 

God this is hard to write and explain. 

Basically I went from being a whore to being … ordinary.  

Now I see how you can share space with someone of the opposite sex without it being a sexual encounter.  That in itself is so liberating. 

-ke