I lived with PTSD for 40 years, after molestation by a Catholic priest at age five. Read my story as I write it here through 2015.

This is a True Story

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Sunday, September 6, 2015

Perennial Other-Ness

More Stuff Found in Old Journal

January 22, 2013

Once again my strangeness compared to the rest of the world is rubbed in my face by one of my loving neighbors. 

I'm at Mikey’s house having a smoke and he comments that I seem to be a person who has been through a lot. Out of my mouth pops the story of when I was raped by nine Shasta Indians and left for dead in the woods on their Northern California reservation in 1970.

About halfway through my story I realize that the other person in the room, Mike’s latest flame, has very blank eyes as she stares out at me from behind thick glasses. Still I feel a need to keep talking, so I continue the story. I was a na├»ve and entitled upper class hippie girl who hitchhiked to an Indian reservation, camped by their river, and swam in the nude in the middle of the day.  I ended up being gang banged by nine drunk Natives one night. 

It was my fault, I say out loud, trying to elicit some feeling from my listeners but now both Mike and Flame are just staring at me.  I want to add that I finally escaped the Indians and made my way down to Highway Five where I was picked up by a couple from Oregon, then, continuing my total sexual dysfunction, I ended up in bed with the husband, while I was staying at their home recuperating from the gang rape by nine drunk Indians.  When I saw the blank looks on their faces, I realized I had to leave out that part of the story. 

Everything about me is so way out there, no wonder I have only a handful of persons who I can even talk to now as I near age sixty-five.  
-
Posted by Kay Ebeling
Producer, City of Angels Blog
The City of Angels is Everywhere

Post Note: 

The sexual dysfunction was the result of being molested by a priest when I was five years old. I write these posts today to document how these crimes by the Catholic Church who kept these men in office, messed with the lives of victims like me.

Thing is, when the Indians entered my camp site, at first I wanted to do it.

-ke

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