(2008) Today, age sixty, I'm outside with the doors locked, and everyone else is inside a place I can never get to. It's 2008 and I'm wondering why other people have houses and cars and I never have had either.  Well I’ve had cars, but always broken down second and third hand cars, nothing I could rely on. . . I've rented every place I've lived except my parents’ house.  I’ve spent, what, 15 years now dealing with these rapes as a child by a priest? To an outsider it seems like a person should get over it by the time they're 60 years old.  But when you consider I did not know what was wrong with me until I was 45, it is not that long of a time. -ke (still digging in journals)